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Portrait of the Musician as A Younger Man

by Rowan and The Royal Family.

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1.
I’m not a candlemaker I’m a candlemakers son I can’t stop the process That my father has begun The action so explicit The meaning so clear I look into my memory And see them dying here And If you don’t mean me any harm Then there’s no cause for alarm. I’m not Zimmerman; Don’t use no Zimmer frame I’m just in the middle Of everybody’s games I laugh with the crowd and don’t ask why But I walk with a needle in my eye Don’t ask for change I don’t got none I just walk the road to kingdom come I’m not nature’s son Johnny stole a loaf He used in downtown Brixton Where he wants to be the most That he can be without lifting a finger HE will not make it through Because he does not have you.
2.
3.
3 04:04
I am the lamplight That guides you home Through waking dawn You wander and roam Down to the depths of the quietest place You will see a desperate face Unfriendly smells fill every hole Demons and cowards searching for a soul I am home I’ve been saying these things for years But Noone listens save the tears I’ll be joining my grandfather soon In the land beyond the tide I’ve been crying since You left I’m brought down broken and bereft There was a time when you wanted me But the veil has left and now I see Sacrifice to your gods Let them feel your devotion Send his body to do god’s work Over the ocean Then when his bones wash up to the shore Will anyone remember the things that he saw Men do? I’ve been saying these things for years But Noone listens save the tears I’ll be joining my grandfather soon In the land beyond the tide I’ve been crying since You left I’m brought down broken and bereft There was a time when you wanted me But the veil has left and now I see
4.
Walking down an alleyway Songs that have been sung today Come to the fore of my memory Before the face of ecstasy The plug-in face of Greenwood marches Down to the sea and the marble arches. Say you will be there at nine We’ll drink tea and we’ll drink Wine. A wedding ring for Coventry 200 miles away from me Down the yard I found my eyes Taking me for a surprise. And down the shore to the windward isles Where the locals greet you with summer smiles There it was I found a rock They called her my five foot prop. The Heath it was as bare as night The ghosts and demons all alight Down the hill to the parish fair Where its okay to braid your hair. Washing through to the end of sand Where fathers drink to understand The suffering of his wife and child Baby pure and mother mild. I have seen so many things I find it very hard to sing When life it tries to disagree I travel back down to the sea Then I sing my song at last With darkness encroaching fast Laughing at the energy The night fades to a memory.
5.
I met death on the beach Walking down the promenade His head was dipped He looked to have played his last card I showed him my life as it stands As I stood with my toes in the sands He said “Nobody has it better than you” So I wandered away To the place I call home I shut myself in my room And rested my feet all alone The night came in fast With my mind free at last And I wasted my time on nothing and everything I met the devil in school He was the master of pain He barred the gates and made a mockery of children’s games His mind sharp as a knife But he knew nothing of life He just takes the souls of the young and lays them to waste My love was a child Before I met and I won her Talking like Plath A wealth of ideas possessed her But the child inside her screamed Forgetting her childhood dreams She lost her way before her body was old The Ghost of a man that I knew was walking the halls Of a run down venue Where the thunderclap falls He took me by the hand And showed me the lay of the land He said “someday this could all be yours” The desert was quiet The wind was dead as night The sun beat down on the dunes It was quite a sight My body cried out for rain The clouds answered in vain And I set myself down to rest for the last time.
6.
It was just before dawn on a tree on a hill I imagined her leaning on my windowsill Her grace and her charm were mine for a time When the marshals came forward to put me in line It was five in the evening and the forest was ablaze I ran to the fields and hid in the maize I saw dead bodies I saw them burn I saw them run and I saw them turn I don’t want to kill any more I am going to leave this bloody war In the heat of the flame, I saw death rise He turned his white horse, and left, satisfied And after the demons had drunken their fill I was left to dream of the windowsill. When I joined my friends, all bloodied and bruised There was quiet talk of feeling abused I turned them around; said “no mutiny” We are but soldiers, we’ll never be free I don’t want to kill them any more Send the sergeant to the general’s door We just kept on marching, over field and waste A handful of souls with pale and white face To look out me now, would she recognise? The terrified smile and the death behind my eyes We turned to the west, as orders dictate We’re ordered to love and ordered to hate My lord and my saviour has sent me to die I do not pray for spit in my eye I don’t want to kill them any more Send my enemy running from my door I’m not who you think, I’m not the good one I do not bring peace, I’ve murdered your sons The man that I follow is evil in name But is it the gun or the man who takes aim? I’ve killed the reds, now I’ll kill the jews I’ll murder the English, and then I’ll come for you I’m the black beast from the Bavarian plain And I curse my leader like I curse my name
7.
Addiction 03:14
8.

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released April 27, 2013

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Rowan and The Royal Family. Crewkerne, UK

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